right now my eyes are red and hot....
not tears.... is tiredness.... or stress???
no idea....

well.... somehow i feel that me, Xue Fu Mei, actually felt stress is such a hilarious thing...
y should i feel stress when i didnt put in any piorities for my study??
i had nv been stress b4 for study, why now??

wahaha.... isnt it funny??

hai... i jus feel like shit sometimes, guess i only feel my best when i am happily having fun and making people happy or anything except studies related...

i suddenly felt a lost of interest in study.... hai.... maybe cos of IEF... what a big blow to me... i am so depressed by it... i noe 85% i gonna fail for it... but i jus..... AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH i jus hate to even try to study it.....

i dunno if this kind of feeling shown a worsen on my depression....... but i always believe fumei is a strong gal.... =) fight it fight it fight it......

hai.... my main module projects are all finally over today with EC going last..... guess we didnt do as well as others .... but still what suppose to be there are there...... =) be glad for that.... thx alot SY bf.........

guess my lost of interest is also due to the sadness that i had lost my secondary sch math skill esp Amath..... sob... i hope to restudy my sec sch and gain back all the knowledge..... doing math is the onli thing i like about study..... believe it or not.... but i can hardly solve a simple qns now...

and i got a last flash to go..... jus hate it and regret choosing it.... what a dumb ass i am.....

ytd when to gym and bugis for shopping with wenting and jasmine.... bought 2 top 2 bottoms... spend 46 like that...... dunno issit another sign of depression not..... worried that i might have some hyperimplusive shopping illness..... cos i been hitting the malls.... and shop and shop and shop.... spend and spend and spend....... AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH going crazy again.... my acct bleeding too... but i like my spree ytd... satisfied with them....

gonna print my bank book soon.... but dare not.... cos of the large sum missing.... dunno how to ans to mum..... so.... candy, gonna take some part back asap...... sorry....

alright, gonna get some slp 1st before i wake up a few hours later to do my flash... shall listen to peiling advise to have a "play play" mentality to not stress myself.... haaa...
night readers....


suddenly i confirm my analysis... but its sort of late... i guess when we miss the right moment, things cant change back again.... so it can onli be a part of memories... to be recalled.... but not to be fantasy of.... i suddenly felt like a fool..... and i dunno what u are feeling and thinking.... guess its time again i set myself free from you and led my own lonely life... lets hope when the next one knocks on the door, i would become braver to face it.... go go go...