hello...

haaa..... haven been home so early for ages liao.... lol...
shld say at least none since this term start... well all the projects are completed
o no need stay back for disscusions anymore..... YEAH... =D

but right now i still have my Flash to complete then hurray....
but not that soon yet.... still had the big EXAMs to face.... grr....
hate is a million time... but.... jus read a email that actually remind us of those poor soul at the other end of the world who doesnt even have education, food, clothes, bed etc... while us complaining here....

guess its really hard for a fortunate human being to understand always that we are a million time more Xing Fu then 2/3 of the others....

hai....

my greatest worry is IEF... tml still need to do a presentation to pull up our participation mark... hai.... so stress.... had coffee jus now to keep me awake since i have so much thing to do...

ytd went out with my muackies to celebrate hongyou bday.... had a fun day with themm.... =) they always bring all troubles away.... didnt manage to do much for my flash ytd since i am really tired....

now i gonna start doing... haa.... so gonna go..

but b4 that i shall finish the potatoes salad that my sister and i had made...
yummy....

take care.....

right now my eyes are red and hot....
not tears.... is tiredness.... or stress???
no idea....

well.... somehow i feel that me, Xue Fu Mei, actually felt stress is such a hilarious thing...
y should i feel stress when i didnt put in any piorities for my study??
i had nv been stress b4 for study, why now??

wahaha.... isnt it funny??

hai... i jus feel like shit sometimes, guess i only feel my best when i am happily having fun and making people happy or anything except studies related...

i suddenly felt a lost of interest in study.... hai.... maybe cos of IEF... what a big blow to me... i am so depressed by it... i noe 85% i gonna fail for it... but i jus..... AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH i jus hate to even try to study it.....

i dunno if this kind of feeling shown a worsen on my depression....... but i always believe fumei is a strong gal.... =) fight it fight it fight it......

hai.... my main module projects are all finally over today with EC going last..... guess we didnt do as well as others .... but still what suppose to be there are there...... =) be glad for that.... thx alot SY bf.........

guess my lost of interest is also due to the sadness that i had lost my secondary sch math skill esp Amath..... sob... i hope to restudy my sec sch and gain back all the knowledge..... doing math is the onli thing i like about study..... believe it or not.... but i can hardly solve a simple qns now...

and i got a last flash to go..... jus hate it and regret choosing it.... what a dumb ass i am.....

ytd when to gym and bugis for shopping with wenting and jasmine.... bought 2 top 2 bottoms... spend 46 like that...... dunno issit another sign of depression not..... worried that i might have some hyperimplusive shopping illness..... cos i been hitting the malls.... and shop and shop and shop.... spend and spend and spend....... AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH going crazy again.... my acct bleeding too... but i like my spree ytd... satisfied with them....

gonna print my bank book soon.... but dare not.... cos of the large sum missing.... dunno how to ans to mum..... so.... candy, gonna take some part back asap...... sorry....

alright, gonna get some slp 1st before i wake up a few hours later to do my flash... shall listen to peiling advise to have a "play play" mentality to not stress myself.... haaa...
night readers....


suddenly i confirm my analysis... but its sort of late... i guess when we miss the right moment, things cant change back again.... so it can onli be a part of memories... to be recalled.... but not to be fantasy of.... i suddenly felt like a fool..... and i dunno what u are feeling and thinking.... guess its time again i set myself free from you and led my own lonely life... lets hope when the next one knocks on the door, i would become braver to face it.... go go go...

i am super tired and stress now

By what?

my IS flash module and EXAMs!!!!

i hope i nv lived in this world b4....

i hope i have a carefree life, doing thing i want and feel like onli....

i hope i will be able to hack care about everything.....

i wonder why there are so many rules and restrictions in this world....

why cant human jus be human??

why do we need to work so hard and live in a life that every1 feels that "this is life" when nobody noe who say life shld be this way.... i really find this hilarious....

why do diff people born differently, unfairly yet faced the same ending.... of death??

a friend once told me that "if life is equal, our fingers would be of equal length"

and i feel that is so true...

i really really feel like having a tour to unwind or head to the endless sea to give a loud shout... i need to get those hard feeling out of me.....

i wanne do well for my life..... but i still haven found my reason and motivation????

what is preventing me to to uncover it??

i really need to know....

i hope i can be overcome by a unknow force suddenly that would wake me up instantl and say "hey u got to get back on feet"

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
*going crazy*

There are only four secrets to staying young, being happy, and achieving success.
You have to laugh and find humor every day.
You've got to have a dream. When you lose your dreams, you die.
We have so many people walking around who are dead and don't even know it!
There is a huge difference between growing older and growing up.
If you are nineteen years old and lie in bed for one full year and don't do one productive thing, you will turn twenty years old.
If I am eighty-seven years old and stay in bed for a year and never do anything I will turn eighty-eight.
Anybody can grow older. That doesn't take any talent or ability.
The idea is to grow up by always finding opportunity in change.

Have no regrets.
The elderly usually don't have regrets for what we did, but rather for things we did not do. The only people who fear death are those with regrets.."

wow... haven been updating it for so long le.. haaa

well... been having a busy period that why...

rushing for projects.... (20hrs of projects marathon... wooh.... cool huh!... luckily its all over)

went for a continous 1 week straight of shop shop shop... with sinye.... phew..... *hole in the pocket* *crack goes my heart* =D *but enjoyment within* lol....

haaa.... lots of fun things took place during my "disappearance".... enjoying the companies of those lovely gals of ex-TB08 and better bonding......... and heal to my missing part.... lol.... sound serious huh.....

shall talk about some of the fun stuff that had took place....

remembered the period of project deadlines all hitting at ard the same time..... 3 at a go.... Pmkt, EC and OM.... *phew*..... well... i shld say its really a very unforgetable experience, with the addition of a special menber in the projects that had added much more spices to the hard time..... hai... after this incident, i can onli say i am an evil person..... cant help it..... i am shaped by the society..... *oh its soooo sad*......

i recalled returning to sch on that e-learning friday and sat form early at 10am to 7.30pm for those projects...... wooh.... somehow i find its cool (i noe my grp menbers are rolling their eyes when they read these.) .... seriously, its the 1st time that i had commited myself so heartily at one go for a projects, though my contribution are really little.... (Xing ku le Ivy, Sinye, Peiling and anthea) thanks for all your patients with me...... i really did enjoyed working with all of you.... =)

*I am seriously sorry for those evil things i had done... i felt pity for you... but maybe there is some problems that made me turn evil when the real things took place..... well.... u jus got to learn to accept things and slowly turn it right..... we may appear to be approachable and welcoming... (oops.... too proud of ourselves) but do give us a break sometime..... we are normal human being who can onli take certain limit to ur repeating of problems and rejecting all the solutions that we had given also, ur way of speaking..... *

ok so the projects are over.... oh yes..... i think we did rather well during our PMKT presentation compared to others (as in speaking wise)... hopefully the tutor felt the same.... =) going to noe the feedback tml..... *heartbeatzzzz*

ok... regrading the week of shopping.... wahhahaa..... its really wild... lol.... we did two straight day of shopping at West mall..... then signed up the This Fashion card so as to enjoyed its 30% discount.... lol.... i guess i spent a "blue" away.... *sigh*....

on thur.... 13jul2006....
after my IS flash, (hai... wonder how to start my miniproject).... i went to HD to work and later joined the 4 other lovely gals (wenting, jasmin, Ivy and peiling) at KBox cine to sing till we drop.... really had a wonderful night... but its so ex..... lol..... but its really soooo crazy and wild.... haaa..... =D...

on sat..... 15Jul...
my aunties and cousins from malaysia came for their doc appt.... and i set off to work when they arrived..... nothing special at work..... jus that i saw a pic of a uncle dressed in ladies panty and bra.... (and its so hilarious and weird... ask me why)..... guess that uncle was a bisexual... haaa....

so sunday...... calm and peace after my relatives went back..... and me blogging here.... haaa.....

kk.... shall check back again.....

stay tuned.....

hello....

haaa.... been bringing my lappy to sch this whole week... cos of projects and IS (flash)... so mah fan and din tei.... lol...

it seems like time is getting faster and faster.... 1 week is always over so fast.... so is one month and one year..... *sweat*

felt so suffocate..... dunno what i am living for..... i still haven understand life....

hai.... on friday.... (30june)
didnt went for lecture... so only set off to school at 10 am for the tutorial at 11am..... got back my result for EC... did really did well.... sad... but i didnt study much also.... so cant blame.... but still felt sad....

after tutorial... when to canteen1 to meet wenting and group....
but had a bad incident there..... thinking of it now still so sad.....
saw Koh poh tee... then i like try to hide la... then she saw and came to tell me "its polite that you see me and greet and not hide"
something like that....
i was speechless.....
i wasnt really hiding actually..... i was lookinf her way....
felt so humilated..... argh

went to SIM for lunch after much waiting..... ate pizza and chicken rice there.... then chat and chill b4 we set off to the library for project discussion.....
the 5 of us (anthea, sinye, ivy. peiling and me....) were having a good laugh at sinye weird (or shld i say disgusting) dream... haaaa..... luckily didnt get chase out....

after which i report to work at haagen dazs... yes.... u hear me right... i went back to haagen again.... lol.... noe why???
cos the IC ask me for schedule, cos i haven sign the resignation letter yet, and i told her i wanne quit. then she ask me to work 1 more week for her to look for new staff.... hai... being kind hearted.... i agreed... but onli work for 1 day la......

the day was ok there.... lots of new staffs and i am considered the senior for the floor le... so they call me to lead them... i was quite worried cos.... i scare later the new staffs will hate me for scolding them or throwing my weights.... but my seniors told me i have to do it... cos they very angry with them le... haaa.... although very challenging... but i sort of enjoy it.... lol.... honest....

then till closing, the manager call me to asign them jobs... then i ask her only got three jobs then i assigned le i will have nothing to do.... she told me to supervise them lor... i was like cool... haaa.... but end up i still need clean all the tables la... cos they very slow lor.... GR....

then we sat and chat for a while and had some ice-cream.... i tried the new flavour.... Summer Berries... it was very sour.. but when u pair it with melon (a combination call BLISS) it taste great... very refreshing..... =D i tried Green tea and choc choc chip as well.... it was nice... like the brownie one tooo..... haaa.......

then we went to took the company cad back home.... me and qiao feng and hannay were sitting at the back seats and we were chatting all the way..... i felt quit giddy cos had a tiing day and also we went to hougang 1st before we head west again.... haaa...... so i reach home ard 12..... and get to rest.....

wat a day......