Dear all,
It had been a while since i last updated. My life is rather dull nowadays, working at the PA for 5days on shift work and a day at kodak. That will leave me with only 1 pathetic day off. Yes i know that is considered Lucky enough, but for some1 my age, leisure and entertainment is IMPORTANT!!
ok, a bit of updating on my lives:
i usually get out of my home before 10 and hardly return before 11...
i seldom see my dad and younger sister while they were awake...
my spending expense had been hitting high records every month...
i had changed my monthly magazine to CLEO and abandone my teenage and seventeen!
i had put on extra extra weights!!!! OMG!!!!!
i hate to see myself now in the mirror.....
i do not really like my job at the cc sometimes...
wad else???????.......
my relationship is happy and sweet still.... =)
i am counting down to 1st FEB!!!!!!!! - end of attachement!!!!
ok.. i will be updating my wishlist after lunch...
Sunday, December 23, 2007
Sunday, September 23, 2007
yesterday after my work, he came to pick me up. i was initially very angry with him as he did not feel the importance when i asked him if we can meet for MAC breakfast in early moring. he did not turn up and told me his mum was following him to collect the car.
i felt sort of upset. like why am i always eager to meet him but to him its like a big chores to meet me. i am upset that he sometime choose to stay home and watch TV then to take the effort to come pick me up from my night shift. i really cannot feel that he care about my safty in any way. i feel that he would only think of me after he watched finish his whole TV programe.
sometime he make me feel so loved. but sometime i feel he doesnt even care. soem time i feel so fortunate to be loved even though i am not any beauty. but sometime he jus make me feel so worthless and unimportance.
i know it had all been a pass. but i still can't help but had the tot of whether he would treat her the way he treated me. and i would feel totally umwanted and sad.
i loved how he hug me whenever he make me angry or sad. how he wipe my tears off when i cry. how he "seemed" to try and make it up when i am angry. and everytime i would give in and the day would end normally again.
i feel that i am so lousy, i cant seems to keep up with my anger on him for more that 2 days. and i would forgive him eventually after the 2 days. i wondered if this was the casue that he never afraid to make me angry, never keep me in his mind for long and never regard me as high importance. but people told me it cause of this factors that keep my relationship going.
but yesterday i was truely sad and hurt by his answer to my casual question. i felt all the things he did was all fake. all the kisses.. the eagerness showed whenever i am angry... the hugs.... and everything where all fake!!!!!!!
i am a nobody to him.... i am jus another gal for his pleasure and selfishness. ... i am the last thing he would ever think about...... i meant nothing to him....
i asked him whether he would consider bringing me along for his brother wedding... and he gave and immediated answer of No.... that was already hurt... but when i asked agine why? and he say why should bring?? it took me soem courage and hesistance to bring myself to ask the next question... "but... i am your girlfriend".... and he jus gave me the most hurting answer ever... a one word ... "So?"......... my heart almos break apart....
well.... so what if i am his gf?.... i still a nobody... and not really importance person in his life for him to even think of......
ITS ALL A PACK OF LIE!!!
he might have loved me at some moments... but so what?? so what??? what the big deal????
only i would try to reserved my day for him and hopething that he would make time for me... only me taking the effort each day to weait till 11pm for him to give me the ring of the day... and most of time its always me who send him the message to check howhe was doing... maybe to him all these are not things he feel is really a need to do... to him... there is always anotherday to chat... another day to meet.... another day and another day... so what if i missed this day??? i jus have to rest and sleep first since i am tired....
everything... eventhough i am angry with him.... in my heart... i would throw out as many reasoning as i can to explain for his forgetfullnes... his not so thoughtfulness... his carelessness.... and all that tiny fault that i shouldnt have take into mind so much.... "he is not at wrong".... i am being difficult and unreasonable... not understanding.. i am the one at fault....
but yesterday.... i konw... i am really not any importance to him.. for him to even consider for any of his future decision....
i felt sort of upset. like why am i always eager to meet him but to him its like a big chores to meet me. i am upset that he sometime choose to stay home and watch TV then to take the effort to come pick me up from my night shift. i really cannot feel that he care about my safty in any way. i feel that he would only think of me after he watched finish his whole TV programe.
sometime he make me feel so loved. but sometime i feel he doesnt even care. soem time i feel so fortunate to be loved even though i am not any beauty. but sometime he jus make me feel so worthless and unimportance.
i know it had all been a pass. but i still can't help but had the tot of whether he would treat her the way he treated me. and i would feel totally umwanted and sad.
i loved how he hug me whenever he make me angry or sad. how he wipe my tears off when i cry. how he "seemed" to try and make it up when i am angry. and everytime i would give in and the day would end normally again.
i feel that i am so lousy, i cant seems to keep up with my anger on him for more that 2 days. and i would forgive him eventually after the 2 days. i wondered if this was the casue that he never afraid to make me angry, never keep me in his mind for long and never regard me as high importance. but people told me it cause of this factors that keep my relationship going.
but yesterday i was truely sad and hurt by his answer to my casual question. i felt all the things he did was all fake. all the kisses.. the eagerness showed whenever i am angry... the hugs.... and everything where all fake!!!!!!!
i am a nobody to him.... i am jus another gal for his pleasure and selfishness. ... i am the last thing he would ever think about...... i meant nothing to him....
i asked him whether he would consider bringing me along for his brother wedding... and he gave and immediated answer of No.... that was already hurt... but when i asked agine why? and he say why should bring?? it took me soem courage and hesistance to bring myself to ask the next question... "but... i am your girlfriend".... and he jus gave me the most hurting answer ever... a one word ... "So?"......... my heart almos break apart....
well.... so what if i am his gf?.... i still a nobody... and not really importance person in his life for him to even think of......
ITS ALL A PACK OF LIE!!!
he might have loved me at some moments... but so what?? so what??? what the big deal????
only i would try to reserved my day for him and hopething that he would make time for me... only me taking the effort each day to weait till 11pm for him to give me the ring of the day... and most of time its always me who send him the message to check howhe was doing... maybe to him all these are not things he feel is really a need to do... to him... there is always anotherday to chat... another day to meet.... another day and another day... so what if i missed this day??? i jus have to rest and sleep first since i am tired....
everything... eventhough i am angry with him.... in my heart... i would throw out as many reasoning as i can to explain for his forgetfullnes... his not so thoughtfulness... his carelessness.... and all that tiny fault that i shouldnt have take into mind so much.... "he is not at wrong".... i am being difficult and unreasonable... not understanding.. i am the one at fault....
but yesterday.... i konw... i am really not any importance to him.. for him to even consider for any of his future decision....
yesterday after my work, he came to pick me up. i was initially very angry with him as he did not feel the importance when i asked him if we can meet for MAC breakfast in early moring. he did not turn up and told me his mum was following him to collect the car.
i felt sort of upset. like why am i always eager to meet him but to him its like a big chores to meet me. i am upset that he sometime choose to stay home and watch TV then to take the effort to come pick me up from my night shift. i really cannot feel that he care about my safty in any way. i feel that he would only think of me after he watched finish his whole TV programe.
sometime he make me feel so loved. but sometime i feel he doesnt even care. soem time i feel so fortunate to be loved even though i am not any beauty. but sometime he jus make me feel so worthless and unimportance.
i know it had all been a pass. but i still can't help but had the tot of whether he would treat her the way he treated me. and i would feel totally umwanted and sad.
i loved how he hug me whenever he make me angry or sad. how he wipe my tears off when i cry. how he "seemed" to try and make it up when i am angry. and everytime i would give in and the day would end normally again.
i feel that i am so lousy, i cant seems to keep up with my anger on him for more that 2 days. and i would forgive him eventually after the 2 days. i wondered if this was the casue that he never afraid to make me angry, never keep me in his mind for long and never regard me as high importance. but people told me it cause of this factors that keep my relationship going.
but yesterday i was truely sad and hurt by his answer to my casual question. i felt all the things he did was all fake. all the kisses.. the eagerness showed whenever i am angry... the hugs.... and everything where all fake!!!!!!!
i am a nobody to him.... i am jus another gal for his pleasure and selfishness. ... i am the last thing he would ever think about...... i meant nothing to him....
i asked him whether he would consider bringing me along for his brother wedding... and he gave and immediated answer of No.... that was already hurt... but when i asked agine why? and he say why should bring?? it took me soem courage and hesistance to bring myself to ask the next question... "but... i am your girlfriend".... and he jus gave me the most hurting answer ever... a one word ... "So?"......... my heart almos break apart....
well.... so what if i am his gf?.... i still a nobody... and not really importance person in his life for him to even think of......
ITS ALL A PACK OF LIE!!!
he might have loved me at some moments... but so what?? so what??? what the big deal????
only i would try to reserved my day for him and hopething that he would make time for me... only me taking the effort each day to weait till 11pm for him to give me the ring of the day... and most of time its always me who send him the message to check howhe was doing... maybe to him all these are not things he feel is really a need to do... to him... there is always anotherday to chat... another day to meet.... another day and another day... so what if i missed this day??? i jus have to rest and sleep first since i am tired....
everything... eventhough i am angry with him.... in my heart... i would throw out as many reasoning as i can to explain for his forgetfullnes... his not so thoughtfulness... his carelessness.... and all that tiny fault that i shouldnt have take into mind so much.... "he is not at wrong".... i am being difficult and unreasonable... not understanding.. i am the one at fault....
but yesterday.... i konw... i am really not any importance to him.. for him to even consider for any of his future decision....
i felt sort of upset. like why am i always eager to meet him but to him its like a big chores to meet me. i am upset that he sometime choose to stay home and watch TV then to take the effort to come pick me up from my night shift. i really cannot feel that he care about my safty in any way. i feel that he would only think of me after he watched finish his whole TV programe.
sometime he make me feel so loved. but sometime i feel he doesnt even care. soem time i feel so fortunate to be loved even though i am not any beauty. but sometime he jus make me feel so worthless and unimportance.
i know it had all been a pass. but i still can't help but had the tot of whether he would treat her the way he treated me. and i would feel totally umwanted and sad.
i loved how he hug me whenever he make me angry or sad. how he wipe my tears off when i cry. how he "seemed" to try and make it up when i am angry. and everytime i would give in and the day would end normally again.
i feel that i am so lousy, i cant seems to keep up with my anger on him for more that 2 days. and i would forgive him eventually after the 2 days. i wondered if this was the casue that he never afraid to make me angry, never keep me in his mind for long and never regard me as high importance. but people told me it cause of this factors that keep my relationship going.
but yesterday i was truely sad and hurt by his answer to my casual question. i felt all the things he did was all fake. all the kisses.. the eagerness showed whenever i am angry... the hugs.... and everything where all fake!!!!!!!
i am a nobody to him.... i am jus another gal for his pleasure and selfishness. ... i am the last thing he would ever think about...... i meant nothing to him....
i asked him whether he would consider bringing me along for his brother wedding... and he gave and immediated answer of No.... that was already hurt... but when i asked agine why? and he say why should bring?? it took me soem courage and hesistance to bring myself to ask the next question... "but... i am your girlfriend".... and he jus gave me the most hurting answer ever... a one word ... "So?"......... my heart almos break apart....
well.... so what if i am his gf?.... i still a nobody... and not really importance person in his life for him to even think of......
ITS ALL A PACK OF LIE!!!
he might have loved me at some moments... but so what?? so what??? what the big deal????
only i would try to reserved my day for him and hopething that he would make time for me... only me taking the effort each day to weait till 11pm for him to give me the ring of the day... and most of time its always me who send him the message to check howhe was doing... maybe to him all these are not things he feel is really a need to do... to him... there is always anotherday to chat... another day to meet.... another day and another day... so what if i missed this day??? i jus have to rest and sleep first since i am tired....
everything... eventhough i am angry with him.... in my heart... i would throw out as many reasoning as i can to explain for his forgetfullnes... his not so thoughtfulness... his carelessness.... and all that tiny fault that i shouldnt have take into mind so much.... "he is not at wrong".... i am being difficult and unreasonable... not understanding.. i am the one at fault....
but yesterday.... i konw... i am really not any importance to him.. for him to even consider for any of his future decision....
Sunday, June 17, 2007
wow.. i had a great week..... jammed packed with so much activities.. i really enjoyed myself....
MONDAY:
... i went out with my project team to tiong bahru and hougang mall for your first CRM project audit.... its ratherly weird that ASIAmall had their information counter at the 2nd or 3rd floor instead of the 1st... haha... well... although most of the time was spend window shopping then doing the real project..... haha....
i left the gals at ard 5pm to meet him... we went for dinner together at Chomp Chomp (serangoon garden) there..... we had Carrot Cake, Fried Prawn Mee, Stingray with 2 JUG!! of sugar cane juice... and i really mean JUG... i was so shocked when the drink was served.... he didnt knew it was that huge as well when he ordered and requested for the large size.... but i think it was really far too large... hahah......
however, he sent me home right after dinner and i managed to reach home at 7pm..... i was rather sad at that as i was hoping to spend more time tgt instead of heading home so fast...... but well... he said his feet hurt... so i shan't borther him much....
Tuesday....
i stayed at home the whole day surfing the net, helping my mum prepare the materials she needed for the dumpling making.... well.. however... at night, i didnt have a good sleep at all due to some matters.... anyway... its alright now.......
Wednesday......
i went out early in the morning heading to TPY to meet helene for a talk that is related to the upcoming data entry job that i was suppose to work for... however after estimation, i knew i was not going to make it in time.... so i decided to change my travelling route.. and i change to the NE line from duoby ghaut station, heading boon keng station..... i waited at his bus stop for about half an hour or so b4 we met.... although it was rather upset at the first part, but luckily things change for the better at the later stage......... =)
we went for breakfast at Plaza Singapore toast box...... after whihc we went to the spot light for a little window shopping before we head over to cathy ciniplex for our movie... we watched the SHREK3....... it was a very funny movie... very entertaining... =)
after the movie, we headed to china town to show around... i didnt bought anyhting except for some crystal stickers and also a giodarno polo tee...... =) we then went for lunch at the hawker center and he went to QQ for the famous Yong Tau Fu....... to me i dun feel it really tasted marvellous.... but its really surprising to see the QQ so long...... really amazing......
after lunch....... he sent he home as he had to attend an dinner later in the night....... but i was happy enough with the time spend...... =)
thursday.....
its the MUACKIEs chalet day..... we meet at 11.30 at City hall Mrt and headed to the Downtown east for the chalet... before that we went to white sand mall to shop for some food....... we cashed out a total bill of $52 food..... at first we thought we have over bought as its jus going to be a one night stay.... however...... WE WERE WRONG!!!!...... haha.... by the end of the charlet... almost 95% of the food were finished!! plus... on the previous night, the went for the Sakea Sushi Buffet still!!!!!!! aH!!!!!!!! Muackies is jus amazing food funkies,,,, lol.... =D
we didnt do much at the charlet... jus watched TV.... play cards... take pic...... tell storied and eat and eat and EAT!! ........ lol......... and we slept for 5 hours or so...... lol.......
Friday..
we woke up at 8am plus and started the slogan " the MUnching Never Stop" hahaha... yup.. we had our breakfast...... then we took some more pics before we checked out of the charlet.... azen was still holding on the honey star... munching,.... lol.... i did not leave home with them.. but instead.. i stayed and waiting for Potatoe.......
he came shortly and it was raingin then... i was so disappointed as we actually wanted to go escape theme park....... so he went for his breakfast and by the time he finished... the rain had Stopped!!! hurray... Escape!! here we come........!!!!!!!
over at escape... we had the pirate ship as the first ride..... i screamed the hell out and he was also sceaming... but at the noise i am making and the other gals at the back..... haha....... we headed for the mini roller coasta ride and then the flying man... then the the gold coast..... the hauted house... the space bowl.... the ferry wheel.. the water shooting car... and more gold cart and more gold cart... haha.... a very fun day... however.... i got sun burn instead....... sad.....
we went for dinner before he sent me home.... i wasnt settle down enough yet and was having bumping heart as he drive.. i was afraid he would still drive like he was driving the gold cart....... lol... it was really fun.......
Saturday was workign day and sunday was stay home day... and Happy Father day too.... nothing much... shall come back again ...... bye
MONDAY:
... i went out with my project team to tiong bahru and hougang mall for your first CRM project audit.... its ratherly weird that ASIAmall had their information counter at the 2nd or 3rd floor instead of the 1st... haha... well... although most of the time was spend window shopping then doing the real project..... haha....
i left the gals at ard 5pm to meet him... we went for dinner together at Chomp Chomp (serangoon garden) there..... we had Carrot Cake, Fried Prawn Mee, Stingray with 2 JUG!! of sugar cane juice... and i really mean JUG... i was so shocked when the drink was served.... he didnt knew it was that huge as well when he ordered and requested for the large size.... but i think it was really far too large... hahah......
however, he sent me home right after dinner and i managed to reach home at 7pm..... i was rather sad at that as i was hoping to spend more time tgt instead of heading home so fast...... but well... he said his feet hurt... so i shan't borther him much....
Tuesday....
i stayed at home the whole day surfing the net, helping my mum prepare the materials she needed for the dumpling making.... well.. however... at night, i didnt have a good sleep at all due to some matters.... anyway... its alright now.......
Wednesday......
i went out early in the morning heading to TPY to meet helene for a talk that is related to the upcoming data entry job that i was suppose to work for... however after estimation, i knew i was not going to make it in time.... so i decided to change my travelling route.. and i change to the NE line from duoby ghaut station, heading boon keng station..... i waited at his bus stop for about half an hour or so b4 we met.... although it was rather upset at the first part, but luckily things change for the better at the later stage......... =)
we went for breakfast at Plaza Singapore toast box...... after whihc we went to the spot light for a little window shopping before we head over to cathy ciniplex for our movie... we watched the SHREK3....... it was a very funny movie... very entertaining... =)
after the movie, we headed to china town to show around... i didnt bought anyhting except for some crystal stickers and also a giodarno polo tee...... =) we then went for lunch at the hawker center and he went to QQ for the famous Yong Tau Fu....... to me i dun feel it really tasted marvellous.... but its really surprising to see the QQ so long...... really amazing......
after lunch....... he sent he home as he had to attend an dinner later in the night....... but i was happy enough with the time spend...... =)
thursday.....
its the MUACKIEs chalet day..... we meet at 11.30 at City hall Mrt and headed to the Downtown east for the chalet... before that we went to white sand mall to shop for some food....... we cashed out a total bill of $52 food..... at first we thought we have over bought as its jus going to be a one night stay.... however...... WE WERE WRONG!!!!...... haha.... by the end of the charlet... almost 95% of the food were finished!! plus... on the previous night, the went for the Sakea Sushi Buffet still!!!!!!! aH!!!!!!!! Muackies is jus amazing food funkies,,,, lol.... =D
we didnt do much at the charlet... jus watched TV.... play cards... take pic...... tell storied and eat and eat and EAT!! ........ lol......... and we slept for 5 hours or so...... lol.......
Friday..
we woke up at 8am plus and started the slogan " the MUnching Never Stop" hahaha... yup.. we had our breakfast...... then we took some more pics before we checked out of the charlet.... azen was still holding on the honey star... munching,.... lol.... i did not leave home with them.. but instead.. i stayed and waiting for Potatoe.......
he came shortly and it was raingin then... i was so disappointed as we actually wanted to go escape theme park....... so he went for his breakfast and by the time he finished... the rain had Stopped!!! hurray... Escape!! here we come........!!!!!!!
over at escape... we had the pirate ship as the first ride..... i screamed the hell out and he was also sceaming... but at the noise i am making and the other gals at the back..... haha....... we headed for the mini roller coasta ride and then the flying man... then the the gold coast..... the hauted house... the space bowl.... the ferry wheel.. the water shooting car... and more gold cart and more gold cart... haha.... a very fun day... however.... i got sun burn instead....... sad.....
we went for dinner before he sent me home.... i wasnt settle down enough yet and was having bumping heart as he drive.. i was afraid he would still drive like he was driving the gold cart....... lol... it was really fun.......
Saturday was workign day and sunday was stay home day... and Happy Father day too.... nothing much... shall come back again ...... bye
Wednesday, May 30, 2007
A touching story i took from my friend...
Sinye, i am glade we are back to the same old time... Cheer up k... dun let him mess up ur life...
~"~
TreePeople call me "Tree".
I had dated 5 girls when I was in Pre-U. There is one girl who I love a lot but never dared to go after.
She didn't have a pretty face, good figure or an outstanding charm. She was just a very ordinary girl. I liked her. I really liked her. I liked her innocence, her frankness, her intelligence and her fragility. Reason for not going after her was that I felt somebody so ordinary like her was not a good match for me. I was also afraid that after we were together all the feelings would vanish. I was also afraid other's gossip would hurt her. I felt that if she were my girl, she'd be mine ultimately & I didn't have to give up eve rything just for her.
The last reason, made her accompanying me for 3 years. She watched me chase other girls, and I have made her heart cry for 3 years. She was a good actor, and me a demanding director. When I kissed my second girlfriend, she bumped into us. She was embarrassed but smiled & said, "Go on!" before running off. The next day, her eyes were swollen like a walnut. I did not want to know what caused her to cry. Later that day, I returned from soccer training to get something & watched her cry in the classroom for an hour or so. My fourth girlfriend did not like her. There was once when both of them quarreled. I know that based on her character she is not the type that will start the quarrel. However, I still sided my girlfriend. I shouted at her & ignored her feelings and walked off with my girlfriend. The next day, she was laughing & joking with me like nothing happened. I know she was hurt but she did not know deep down inside I was hurt too.
When I broke up with my fifth girlfriend, I asked her out. Later that day, I told her I had something to tell her. I told her about my break up. Coincidentally, she has something to tell me too, about her getting together. I knew who the person was. His pursuit for her had been the talk of the School. I did not show her my heartache, just smiles & best wishes. Once I reached home, I could not breathe. Tears rolled & I broke down. How many times have I seen her cry for the man who did not acknowledge her presence?
During graduation, I read a SMS in my hp. It said,
"Leaf's departure is because of Wind's pursuit. Or because Tree didn't ask her to stay"
Leaf
People call me Leaf.
During the 3 years of Pre-U, I was on very close terms with a guy as buddy kind. However, when he had his first girlfriend, I learnt a feeling I never should have learnt - Jealousy. Sourness to the extreme limit. They were only together for 2 months. When they broke up, I hid my happiness. But after a month, he got together with another girl.
I liked him & I know he liked me. But why won't he pursue me? Since he loves me why he didn't he make the first move? Whenever he had a new girlfriend, my heart would hurt. After some time, I began to suspect that this was one-sided love. If he didn't like me, why did he treat me so well? It's beyond what you will normally do for a friend. I know his likes, his habits. But his feelings towards me I can never figure out. You can't expect me a girl, to ask him.
Despite that, I still wanted to be by his side. Care for him, accompany him, and love him. Hoping that one day, he will come to love me. Because of this, I waited for him. Sometimes, I wondered if I should continue waiting. The pain, the dilemma accompanied me for 3 years.
At the end of my 3rd year, a junior pursues me. Everyday he pursues me. He's like the cool & gentle wind, trying to blow off a leaf from a tree. In the end, I realized that I wanted to give this wind a small footing in my heart. I know the wind will bring the leaf to a better land.
Finally, leaf left the tree, but the tree only smiled & didn't ask me to stay.
Leaf's departure is because of Wind's pursuit. Or cause Tree didn't ask her to stay.
Wind
People call me Wind.
Because I like a girl called leaf. Because she's so dependent on tree, so I have to be a gust wind. A wind that will blow her away.
When I first met her, it was 1 month after I was transferred to this new school. I saw a petite person look ing at my seniors & me playing soccer. During ECA time, she will always be sitting there. Be it alone or with her friends, looking at him. When he talks with girls, there's jealousy in her eyes. When he looked at her, there's a smile in her eyes. Looking at her became my habit. Just like, she likes to look at him.
One day, she didn't appear. I felt something missing. I can't explain the feeling except it's a kind of uneasiness. The senior was also not there as well. I went to their classroom, hid outside and saw my senior scolding her. Tears were in her eyes while he left. The next day, I saw her at her usual place, looking at him. I walked over and smiled to her. Took out a note & gave to her.
She was surprised. She looked at me, smiled & accepts the note. The next day, she appeared & passes me a note and left.
It read, "Leaf's heart is too heavy and wind couldn't blow her away."
"It's not that leaf heart is too heavy. It because leaf never want to leave tree." I replied her note with this statement and slowly she started to talk to me & accept my presents & phone calls. I know that the person she loves is not me. But I have this perseverance that one day I will make her like me.
Within 4 months, I have declared my love for her no less than 20 times. Every time, she will divert away from the topic. But I never give up. If I decide I want her to be mine, I will definitely use all means to win her over. I can't remember how many times I have declared my love to her. Although I know, she will try to divert but I still bear a small ray of hope.Hoping that she will agree to be my girlfriend. I didn't hear any reply from her over the phone.
I asked, "What are you doing? How come you didn't want to reply?"
She said, "I'm nodding my head".
"Ah?" I could n't believe my ears.
"I'm nodding my head" She replied loudly.
I hang up the phone, quickly changed and took a taxi and rush to her place & press her doorbell. During the moment when she opens the door, I hugged her tightly.
Leaf departure is because of Wind pursuit. Or because Tree didn't ask her to stay...
Sinye, i am glade we are back to the same old time... Cheer up k... dun let him mess up ur life...
~"~
TreePeople call me "Tree".
I had dated 5 girls when I was in Pre-U. There is one girl who I love a lot but never dared to go after.
She didn't have a pretty face, good figure or an outstanding charm. She was just a very ordinary girl. I liked her. I really liked her. I liked her innocence, her frankness, her intelligence and her fragility. Reason for not going after her was that I felt somebody so ordinary like her was not a good match for me. I was also afraid that after we were together all the feelings would vanish. I was also afraid other's gossip would hurt her. I felt that if she were my girl, she'd be mine ultimately & I didn't have to give up eve rything just for her.
The last reason, made her accompanying me for 3 years. She watched me chase other girls, and I have made her heart cry for 3 years. She was a good actor, and me a demanding director. When I kissed my second girlfriend, she bumped into us. She was embarrassed but smiled & said, "Go on!" before running off. The next day, her eyes were swollen like a walnut. I did not want to know what caused her to cry. Later that day, I returned from soccer training to get something & watched her cry in the classroom for an hour or so. My fourth girlfriend did not like her. There was once when both of them quarreled. I know that based on her character she is not the type that will start the quarrel. However, I still sided my girlfriend. I shouted at her & ignored her feelings and walked off with my girlfriend. The next day, she was laughing & joking with me like nothing happened. I know she was hurt but she did not know deep down inside I was hurt too.
When I broke up with my fifth girlfriend, I asked her out. Later that day, I told her I had something to tell her. I told her about my break up. Coincidentally, she has something to tell me too, about her getting together. I knew who the person was. His pursuit for her had been the talk of the School. I did not show her my heartache, just smiles & best wishes. Once I reached home, I could not breathe. Tears rolled & I broke down. How many times have I seen her cry for the man who did not acknowledge her presence?
During graduation, I read a SMS in my hp. It said,
"Leaf's departure is because of Wind's pursuit. Or because Tree didn't ask her to stay"
Leaf
People call me Leaf.
During the 3 years of Pre-U, I was on very close terms with a guy as buddy kind. However, when he had his first girlfriend, I learnt a feeling I never should have learnt - Jealousy. Sourness to the extreme limit. They were only together for 2 months. When they broke up, I hid my happiness. But after a month, he got together with another girl.
I liked him & I know he liked me. But why won't he pursue me? Since he loves me why he didn't he make the first move? Whenever he had a new girlfriend, my heart would hurt. After some time, I began to suspect that this was one-sided love. If he didn't like me, why did he treat me so well? It's beyond what you will normally do for a friend. I know his likes, his habits. But his feelings towards me I can never figure out. You can't expect me a girl, to ask him.
Despite that, I still wanted to be by his side. Care for him, accompany him, and love him. Hoping that one day, he will come to love me. Because of this, I waited for him. Sometimes, I wondered if I should continue waiting. The pain, the dilemma accompanied me for 3 years.
At the end of my 3rd year, a junior pursues me. Everyday he pursues me. He's like the cool & gentle wind, trying to blow off a leaf from a tree. In the end, I realized that I wanted to give this wind a small footing in my heart. I know the wind will bring the leaf to a better land.
Finally, leaf left the tree, but the tree only smiled & didn't ask me to stay.
Leaf's departure is because of Wind's pursuit. Or cause Tree didn't ask her to stay.
Wind
People call me Wind.
Because I like a girl called leaf. Because she's so dependent on tree, so I have to be a gust wind. A wind that will blow her away.
When I first met her, it was 1 month after I was transferred to this new school. I saw a petite person look ing at my seniors & me playing soccer. During ECA time, she will always be sitting there. Be it alone or with her friends, looking at him. When he talks with girls, there's jealousy in her eyes. When he looked at her, there's a smile in her eyes. Looking at her became my habit. Just like, she likes to look at him.
One day, she didn't appear. I felt something missing. I can't explain the feeling except it's a kind of uneasiness. The senior was also not there as well. I went to their classroom, hid outside and saw my senior scolding her. Tears were in her eyes while he left. The next day, I saw her at her usual place, looking at him. I walked over and smiled to her. Took out a note & gave to her.
She was surprised. She looked at me, smiled & accepts the note. The next day, she appeared & passes me a note and left.
It read, "Leaf's heart is too heavy and wind couldn't blow her away."
"It's not that leaf heart is too heavy. It because leaf never want to leave tree." I replied her note with this statement and slowly she started to talk to me & accept my presents & phone calls. I know that the person she loves is not me. But I have this perseverance that one day I will make her like me.
Within 4 months, I have declared my love for her no less than 20 times. Every time, she will divert away from the topic. But I never give up. If I decide I want her to be mine, I will definitely use all means to win her over. I can't remember how many times I have declared my love to her. Although I know, she will try to divert but I still bear a small ray of hope.Hoping that she will agree to be my girlfriend. I didn't hear any reply from her over the phone.
I asked, "What are you doing? How come you didn't want to reply?"
She said, "I'm nodding my head".
"Ah?" I could n't believe my ears.
"I'm nodding my head" She replied loudly.
I hang up the phone, quickly changed and took a taxi and rush to her place & press her doorbell. During the moment when she opens the door, I hugged her tightly.
Leaf departure is because of Wind pursuit. Or because Tree didn't ask her to stay...
Tuesday, April 17, 2007
Dear All....
This entries is to share with you all the nice surprice i got from the Muackies on Sunday.... a Surprise for my 19th Bday.....
I went to meet the muackies at around 3.15pm... was late by 15mins.... i didnt know where macdonald was at taka... and had to trial and error for several times.... (laugh if you must)...... when i finally found them at the mac... i was greeted by big smiles from Moon and Agnes... feeling confused and sort of weird i approached them as they were seated at the far ends.... once i was there, they said "hi" to me and asked if i know wad will i be put to for the day... i did not have an idea since my venue was at Taka... i was thinking and praying hard that they wun make me do weird things myself at the crowded place.... seeing my worried face, they decided to offer me an option to choose whether i would like another companion to play the game with or do i wan to play it myself... after some considerations, i decided to carried it out with somebody... so they jus casually say... "alright, then we will get some one special to play it with you" tapping something under their table... before i could figure out wad it was... i saw my sister standing up in front of me... i was So Surprise!!.... never did i expect her to be there... so she was that special somebody that they have invited to play the game with me.... *that feeling was really so special as i had nv expected it... and my sis and know about this surprise she will be carrying out a week before...she had left the house eariler than me to meet them up to discuss abotu this surprise*
The game i was put to play goes like this:
First i have to surrender all my belongings including my phones and wallet (my sis's as well)... then i was given the clue to the 1st venue... there were a total of 10 stations and i have to go the the places, figured out by ourselves, to retrive back the stickets that they have left there... after we got the stickets from the directed venue, we have to go all the way back to Mac to meet them and pass the stickets to them. once there, we were given a lucky draw chance before we proceed to the next clue... they have got lots of "exciting" prizes for the lucky draw, ranging form discouraging phrase like "Thank you for participating" to "Free handshake from each one of them" to "10cents coins to make calles" to "40 Cents" to "1 Free chicken burger" to "free clue to next station" to "free sweets"......... (Cute right?)........
i really enjoyed the game so much... i am thankful thaty my sis was there to guid me in taka (as she works there and know the place better)....... i am totally impress by how they try to camoflage the stickets and giving the clue... though there were time we went to wrong places and tired from the running around, i must really say a thank you for the nice effort for putting this whole plans for me on this special day!!
for the last station, the game had a change... i was told that i had to complete it all by myself and that my sis is not allow to help anymore.... there will be a time limit of 8mins and if i were to complete it, they shall settle 50% of my dinner bill.... and the last clue was actually MUACK! ... that mean i have to do body search on them to look for the clue... haha..... there was so much fun... they try to hide the stickers up in really "remarkable" places like the armpit, thigh, hair, inside the clothes, foot etc... it took me 9mins to locate it as i was given allowance... so i am entitled to the 50% off bill.... YEAH!!.... after which... i was passed te present that they had prespared for me... well.. although the present this time round is nothing materialistic... but hand made...i was totally touch by it... !!! its such a well gift made....
they actually game me a scrap book with some of the beautiful pictures that we took in the earlier times... memories flash back as i flips the pages and read those sweet little messages they left me... and i could really feel the sincerity from the gift... wad more was... the MUACKIES actually wrote a song for me, sang by candy... its really sweet and special... THANKS!! I REALLY FELT THE LOVE FROM YOU ALL!!
so after the game, we head for our dinner at Fish&Co... well... its a nice dinner as we joke and ate and took pictures.... after the dinner... we went to Isetana Park to have a walk and chat and POP the sparkling juice that they bought.... we continue to stroll and took pictures and chat together, catching up with one another before we head to the train station and head home....
it was really a fun night out... and i really miss them lots!!.....
I Must also thanks the dear gals for the nice frame that they had given me... its really sweet and nicely done... i love it very much as well!!!....
thank you!
This entries is to share with you all the nice surprice i got from the Muackies on Sunday.... a Surprise for my 19th Bday.....
I went to meet the muackies at around 3.15pm... was late by 15mins.... i didnt know where macdonald was at taka... and had to trial and error for several times.... (laugh if you must)...... when i finally found them at the mac... i was greeted by big smiles from Moon and Agnes... feeling confused and sort of weird i approached them as they were seated at the far ends.... once i was there, they said "hi" to me and asked if i know wad will i be put to for the day... i did not have an idea since my venue was at Taka... i was thinking and praying hard that they wun make me do weird things myself at the crowded place.... seeing my worried face, they decided to offer me an option to choose whether i would like another companion to play the game with or do i wan to play it myself... after some considerations, i decided to carried it out with somebody... so they jus casually say... "alright, then we will get some one special to play it with you" tapping something under their table... before i could figure out wad it was... i saw my sister standing up in front of me... i was So Surprise!!.... never did i expect her to be there... so she was that special somebody that they have invited to play the game with me.... *that feeling was really so special as i had nv expected it... and my sis and know about this surprise she will be carrying out a week before...she had left the house eariler than me to meet them up to discuss abotu this surprise*
The game i was put to play goes like this:
First i have to surrender all my belongings including my phones and wallet (my sis's as well)... then i was given the clue to the 1st venue... there were a total of 10 stations and i have to go the the places, figured out by ourselves, to retrive back the stickets that they have left there... after we got the stickets from the directed venue, we have to go all the way back to Mac to meet them and pass the stickets to them. once there, we were given a lucky draw chance before we proceed to the next clue... they have got lots of "exciting" prizes for the lucky draw, ranging form discouraging phrase like "Thank you for participating" to "Free handshake from each one of them" to "10cents coins to make calles" to "40 Cents" to "1 Free chicken burger" to "free clue to next station" to "free sweets"......... (Cute right?)........
i really enjoyed the game so much... i am thankful thaty my sis was there to guid me in taka (as she works there and know the place better)....... i am totally impress by how they try to camoflage the stickets and giving the clue... though there were time we went to wrong places and tired from the running around, i must really say a thank you for the nice effort for putting this whole plans for me on this special day!!
for the last station, the game had a change... i was told that i had to complete it all by myself and that my sis is not allow to help anymore.... there will be a time limit of 8mins and if i were to complete it, they shall settle 50% of my dinner bill.... and the last clue was actually MUACK! ... that mean i have to do body search on them to look for the clue... haha..... there was so much fun... they try to hide the stickers up in really "remarkable" places like the armpit, thigh, hair, inside the clothes, foot etc... it took me 9mins to locate it as i was given allowance... so i am entitled to the 50% off bill.... YEAH!!.... after which... i was passed te present that they had prespared for me... well.. although the present this time round is nothing materialistic... but hand made...i was totally touch by it... !!! its such a well gift made....
they actually game me a scrap book with some of the beautiful pictures that we took in the earlier times... memories flash back as i flips the pages and read those sweet little messages they left me... and i could really feel the sincerity from the gift... wad more was... the MUACKIES actually wrote a song for me, sang by candy... its really sweet and special... THANKS!! I REALLY FELT THE LOVE FROM YOU ALL!!
so after the game, we head for our dinner at Fish&Co... well... its a nice dinner as we joke and ate and took pictures.... after the dinner... we went to Isetana Park to have a walk and chat and POP the sparkling juice that they bought.... we continue to stroll and took pictures and chat together, catching up with one another before we head to the train station and head home....
it was really a fun night out... and i really miss them lots!!.....
I Must also thanks the dear gals for the nice frame that they had given me... its really sweet and nicely done... i love it very much as well!!!....
thank you!
Saturday, April 14, 2007
Dear Readers...
As i was happily going to blog and was loading the Blogger window, i opened up another window and entered friendster.... well... and i came upon a news, that somehow cause me some emotional upset.....
*Was i wrong during those period of time?? so i have been such a fool?? WTF... YOU sickening idiot!!! i wish all the worst things happen on you!!!.................... ok... alright..... well... actually i wanted wish you all the best.... that it!! I GOT MY OWN HAPPINESS RIGHT NOW TOO!!!*
ok... i shall bring myself back to how i am feeling before i saw that *^%#$@ news....
hey... wait... my Dar haven msg me yet on whether he got home... got to check on him 1st....
my mood to blog is back again... and somehow, i hope he too does... i wish to read his blog.... and of course, hopefully he does know how to write it well... ahha... jking....
BTW..... did i mentioned that we had been through for 7months plus already??... hehe... Bleahx...
wel... went out with him yesterday evening for his dinner.... he came to picked me up at my block... well.. it was the first tiem that i got prepared earlier and end up he was late... so i waited for some time.... after heading to a few "wrong" places.... we ended up in AMK... book a last-min-decide-to-watch-movie then went for his dinner.... we watched the SHOOTER... i didnt really understand the show at all.. jus lots of guns shot... and enjoying the warm hugs... heee.... and half way to the show, there was a faulty trip causing the movie to be cut off... (there bounce to be some big /small bad things happening with him yea?? haha)..,.. but we got free movie pass as a result of that... yipee... !!!
After the movie, we went "sightseeing" before heading home..... * i am loving you more*
-end-
today nothing much special... jus wake up, do some housework... then waited for the grand arrival of Mr Pek Zhi LE (my Nephew) ... played with him a little before i head for work... work was alright... not really happy, not really unhappy.... oh well... jus facing the indians mostly....
tommorow meeting the muackies.. they celebrating my bday.... wonder wad surprise they giving me.... hopefully i am safe... haha.... shall take pics and post up again... bye bye....
As i was happily going to blog and was loading the Blogger window, i opened up another window and entered friendster.... well... and i came upon a news, that somehow cause me some emotional upset.....
*Was i wrong during those period of time?? so i have been such a fool?? WTF... YOU sickening idiot!!! i wish all the worst things happen on you!!!.................... ok... alright..... well... actually i wanted wish you all the best.... that it!! I GOT MY OWN HAPPINESS RIGHT NOW TOO!!!*
ok... i shall bring myself back to how i am feeling before i saw that *^%#$@ news....
hey... wait... my Dar haven msg me yet on whether he got home... got to check on him 1st....
my mood to blog is back again... and somehow, i hope he too does... i wish to read his blog.... and of course, hopefully he does know how to write it well... ahha... jking....
BTW..... did i mentioned that we had been through for 7months plus already??... hehe... Bleahx...
wel... went out with him yesterday evening for his dinner.... he came to picked me up at my block... well.. it was the first tiem that i got prepared earlier and end up he was late... so i waited for some time.... after heading to a few "wrong" places.... we ended up in AMK... book a last-min-decide-to-watch-movie then went for his dinner.... we watched the SHOOTER... i didnt really understand the show at all.. jus lots of guns shot... and enjoying the warm hugs... heee.... and half way to the show, there was a faulty trip causing the movie to be cut off... (there bounce to be some big /small bad things happening with him yea?? haha)..,.. but we got free movie pass as a result of that... yipee... !!!
After the movie, we went "sightseeing" before heading home..... * i am loving you more*
-end-
today nothing much special... jus wake up, do some housework... then waited for the grand arrival of Mr Pek Zhi LE (my Nephew) ... played with him a little before i head for work... work was alright... not really happy, not really unhappy.... oh well... jus facing the indians mostly....
tommorow meeting the muackies.. they celebrating my bday.... wonder wad surprise they giving me.... hopefully i am safe... haha.... shall take pics and post up again... bye bye....
Friday, April 13, 2007
hey all...
wow... its been such log time ever since i blogged...
ok... nvm.. i am back once again...
this is my last week of school holiday... and how time have flies.... its already april of 2007 and a few more days i will be turning 19... (PS: jus a reminder to all that my Big Day fall on the 19th April..!!!) haha.... it seems like it had jus passed the count down of 2007 and its already april...
this semester holiday... started on the 16th Feb... then came CNY on the 18th feb... where i went in malaysia like the usual yrs... after which i returned to spore, i statred my job hunting... went back to the company in which i serve my attachement at... worked for 1 month and went for the chalets with the gals.... jus came back yesterday....
i think i should check out sentosa again next time... maybe with some 1 special??? heee.... i went to watch the song of the sea... not too bad a show.... but jus bad that its a wet day that night... we also went to try the skyride and ludge ride the next day... the skyride was scary for me... i dare not moved at all... i was so afride that i would drop down... and was thinking of him then.... then we took the ludge ride... that was really fun... ONce is Really Never Enougg.... ahha..... it started to rain again so we head back to our chalet and chill.... me and PL went to play pool and I won... its was close tie through out the game.... haha.....
we head back to chalet and started preparing for the POWERHOUSE night... dolling ourselves up and doing my masks and everything. .... i actually wore a black stocking out that day... i think its such a newthing to me and i was so worry about how people look at me... but the gals keep telling me nothing is wrong... oh. well its ok... its over le... haa....
its was ladies' night at POWERHOUSE... so we all got in free.... with 5 house pour... i didnt like it went we 1st step in... it was so misty and crowded... we went to get the drinks... 2 cups each... one fruit juice another voka... the ladies night wasnt really welcoming for ladies even though its giving out 5 drinks... cos you need to q really long to get your drinks and its only at seleted bar with only 2 service counter. .. so we all didnt used up our drink coupons..... there were also many english there and got ah pek... o.O.... the gals got harassed... but i got bodyguide with me... haha... or maybe i have got no attraction... lol.... i also didnt like the dance floor much... crowded and small... they also have lots of smokers there and i was so afraid that their cigar might burnt me... lol... we left at ard 12.40am... i would much prefer DXO to Powerhouse.... since these are the 2 i have went so far... its DXO ladies night tonight... a little tempted... but then dunno wad excuses to give in order to get out of the house and stay late....
i also got a little surprise from the gals as my birthday present... here are the pic of wad they gave me....
that all i shall type though so much things have happended for the passed months...
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)